Posts Tagged ‘parenting’

I believe I have mentioned a time or two dozen the challenge of parenting a teen and parenting a toddler. While each age group is obviously very different, nonetheless they are equally challenging.

I wonder if other parents, besides only myself, wonder if their children have split personalities…all of them?

Could it even be possible?

With me, I have no doubt.

I digress.

Some studies report that a child will misbehave when they are with the parent they spend the most time with, because they are comfortable “letting it all out” or showing their strong feelings”.

toddler personalities

Of course this makes sense but is it just an excuse?

One article I read on Parents.com, nailed my 3 year old to a Tee – when discussing how one child acted with the mother vs. the father.  I can certainly relate with the author of the article; she comes home from a day of shopping and finds that her daughter napped perfectly for her husband, picked up her toys – no problem and didn’t argue over the little things like which cup she drank of. This is a constant with Reed at home, with me, he will NOT go down for a nap, will fight me to the very end, will refuse certain drinks and will even be picky with meals. But, when he is with his dad, I hear things like “he was asleep before we got to his bed” or “he ate all of his dinner” or “he drank water”.

WHAT??? He never drinks water for me.

Again, I digress.

While it is comforting to hear that “acting up may actually be a sign of how safe he feels with you” I wonder if it is just that. Just sweet words to make parents, like me, not feel crazy.

We can discuss the multiple personalities of my dear sweet teenage son on an entirely different post.



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When you have children you pray they will get along, love another, coexist in the same environment and most of all be friends. Reed and the boys have a 10+ year age difference – which pretty much eliminates any competition, girl fights or arguments over toys. This is nice!

Reed loves his big brothers Oh! so much! It makes me so incredibly happy each time I see them sharing a special moment, especially when they do not know I am watching them. Those are the best. Pure, unplanned and true.

It is a feeling I can’t quite explain. A feeling of accomplish by me maybe – have I successfully engaged them to where they love one another unconditionally? Nah, they just share a special bond.

Now, do not get me wrong – it’s not all roses and butterflies here. They fight. Battle. Exchange words. Even at three (on the 25th) Reed can hold his own. He does have two older brothers of which  he has watched very carefully every day of their lives over the past three years. They do not give him any slack either – which is why he is so tough and independent.

At the end of the day, they all share a very unique, special bond and always will for years to come. I pray this bond only grows stronger and follows them into their adult lives. That they will always care for one another, can count on the other for help and their lives will forever be connected.

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We have a problem.

A BIG problem.

It’s taking over our lives.

Day AND night.

We can not live without it.

It must go.

But how?

I am stumped.

I am NOT in control of this situation.

How do we get rid of these?


I am guilty. I am afraid to let them go.

I am enabling him.

I am NOT in control of this situation.

Just look at him.


He has no idea what is about to happen.

It will hit him hard.

I am putting IT off.

I know they must go.


 Peace & Love

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I once made a comment that “The Terrible Two’s do not have anything on “The Tween or Teen years.” I am certain I am quite justified in this statement since I am parenting a tween, a 10-year old (almost a tween) and a 17 month old (which I firmly believe is the beginning of those “terrible twos") and not to mention that I have gone through the T2’s once before with my now “tween.”

This “tween” stage is rough and tough. It is kicking my tail. Not only is this “tween” pushing every limit possible but he is experiencing life-altering changes at the very same time. There is puberty, new friends, cell phone, new school, we recently moved, g-i-r-l-s, dances, deodorant, cologne, brand name clothes, the list goes on and on. Most of that is normal and part of what is to come. Once he hits high school it will be all of that X10 and I pray I am prepared.


I am going to do all I can to be prepared, which brings me to some advice I was recently given to assist us through this rather challenging age. It is part of the Love and Logic parenting style and it is a technique we have began using with J and B as well.

Choice Language – for example, when approaching the child about their not so good behavior you would do it like this… “(child’s name), we do not throw things in this house. It is not safe for you or for anyone else. You can choose to (bad choice) or (good choice) – if you choose to continue with (bad choice) then you are choosing to loose your I-pod & cell phone.

You are supposed to select what means the most to them and allow them to choose to loose it or not. If they choose to loose their privileges then you take it away for one day (obviously this depends on the seriousness of the choice) and tell them that it is ok because they get another chance tomorrow. You never take anything away more than three days at a time. The key is to let them know that they do get another chance and that it is their choice. You should say it all to them very matter of factly, almost like you do not care because it is up to them if they loose their stuff or not.

We have been using these techniques for a couple of weeks now and have seen some improvements but were also told it could take a while as the child has to get used to the parent reacting differently than they used to.

I am constantly searching the net and blogs for different types of parenting advice for teens and tweens and other stuff. I know I am not the only parent that is going through these challenges and if it works me it very well could possibly work for you too! So here I am, paying it forward.

Peace & Love

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